Monday, July 25, 2011

The Power of Girlfriends....

you're never alone!

Life tends to get the best of us sometimes.  Things happen that we have no control over and we as women need support.  Who do we turn to, our support system, the girlfriends.  Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful.  One of the most amazing men I know and there is a tremendous bond there.  I need him!  He is my pillar of strength, my sanity, the person who keeps me grounded and thinking straight.  I love him to death....but he is not my girlfriends.  Girlfriends are the support and strength when the hiccups of life tend to cause many overwhelming emotions in life.  Emotions like uncertainty, stress, fear, anger and confusion to name a few.   Such feelings brought on by our children, our spouse, work, a friendship, a situation or as in my case a family member in a battle with cancer.  I know I'm not alone!  Whatever these feelings are, they are real!
For many woman we break down from these feelings and we cry, as in my case.   I'm not quite sure men get tears!  I often think those little droplets of moisture scare them - to hell.  They want to run at the sight of fast and far.  Hoping and praying that they'll never see them again and once released they'll dry up for good, not to be seen again.   We as women are different.  We embrace those escaping entities of emotion.  We tend to gravitate towards them wanting to help, wipe and rid the face of the tell tale mascara streams running down the perfectly painted face that only hours ago looked fresh and amazing.  Arms start to fly producing copious amounts of tissue, dabbing and rubbing showing the caring and nurturing that oozes out of us by nature.

I attended a BBQ this weekend hosted by a dear friend.  As the "girlfriends" gathered at one end of the yard and the men kibitzed about sports, golf and whatever at the other end, us girls talked amongst ourselves.  I was asked how my family member was doing.  It wasn't long before the warmth and concern and love of my friends had me in tears.  No one was judging, they cared and they listened.  Hugs and encouragement were offered then the festivities continued.  I felt better immediately!

Women together, we are strong!  We love to share, laugh, and talk about everything and nothing.  We are always there for each other.  The power and friendship between girls is awesome, there is nothing like it!  I found this great article on The Power of Girlfriends from Positively Beautiful, the author is Dr. Susan Mathison.  She writes,


From the Golden Girls to Friends, Sex in the City to the above mentioned, the Bridesmaids movie and beyond, media seems to understand the power of girlfriends. I feel deep gratitude for the friends that took me in for countless holidays when I lived far from family, and even shuttled me around for months after I broke my leg and couldn’t drive. Counting on girlfriends in good times and in bad is what we women do.
Studies show that our girlfriends may play a far greater role in our lives than we might imagine. Research on women and stress provide strong evidence that those chats with your girlfriends are vital to your health and may well help prolong your life. In June 2001, the renowned Harvard Medical School’s Nurses’ Health Study concluded that women’s social networks play an important role in enhancing our health and quality of life. The study went so far as to conclude that not having at least one good confidante is as detrimental to a woman’s health as being overweight or a heavy smoker.

Jeff Zaslow, the author of “The Girls from Ames” followed a group of girlfriends, now in their forties, who have known each other since childhood.  He states, "I envy the ease with which women share their lives.  I envy the vital ways they support each other emotionally, especially as they get older. Women’s friendships are face to face: they share their feelings, their emotions, their secrets. By contrast, men’s friendships are side by side: We do things together. We play golf or go to football games."

Shelley E. Taylor, author and a world-renowned expert on stress and health, contends that women are genetically hard-wired for friendship as a means of coping with stress and, furthermore, we selectively seek out friendships with women…not men…when the chips are down.  Taylor theorizes that a common female stress response is what she calls “tend and befriend.” She says our evolutionary heritage suggests women who formed strong bonds with one another were more apt to survive (as were their offspring) than those who did not. Over time, women have learned to turn to one another for support and solace and have thus become crucial to one another in times of stress. For most women, this protective effect trumps that provided by a spouse.

Hormones may play a role here too. Oxytocin, known as a calming hormone, is released into a woman’s bloodstream after childbirth to nurture the mother/baby bond.  Interestingly, this is also released during stress and may be one of the driving forces behind forming and maintaining close social bonds, because it enhances the ability to nurture and be nurtured. “Because estrogen increases oxytocin’s effects, it’s likely to be more important in women’s stress response than men’s,” Taylor says.
Here’s to Girl’s Night Out, Spa Days, good conversation and great girlfriends!

Here's to all the Girlfriends out there!

Wherever you are in your day, I hope you're enjoying it!
Wishing you many wonderful creations.



  1. I totally agree with this - a great posting honey and I was sent an email just today along similar lines. Let's applaud our girlfriends! Di xx

  2. Great post - I enjoyed reading every bit of it as it is all so true.

    A big cheer for girlfriends, whoever & wherever they may be.

    Toni xx


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